1
00:00:03,564 --> 00:00:06,066
What are you doing out here?
2
00:00:06,146 --> 00:00:08,682
You promised yourself
you'd never let baseball
3
00:00:08,682 --> 00:00:11,218
into your life again.
4
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,662
Come on, dad, hit it out
and send these freaks home.
5
00:00:21,662 --> 00:00:22,740
I'm gonna take you so deep,
6
00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:24,308
you're gonna be makin' me breakfast, baby.
7
00:00:24,308 --> 00:00:25,976
(Laughs)
8
00:00:49,032 --> 00:00:52,102
Today is a great day. Isn't it a great day?
9
00:00:52,102 --> 00:00:54,438
You're gonna be so good, I can feel it.
10
00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:01,348
So, baseball, huh? Hold on.
11
00:01:01,348 --> 00:01:03,417
Was it him?
12
00:01:03,417 --> 00:01:05,182
Did my father, sir drinks-a-lot
13
00:01:05,182 --> 00:01:07,618
get in your ear and tell you
that you have to play baseball?
14
00:01:07,618 --> 00:01:09,753
Because you do not have to play.
15
00:01:09,753 --> 00:01:11,288
Unless you really want to.
16
00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:14,024
Mom, the Cannon didn't say a word.
17
00:01:14,024 --> 00:01:16,093
You wanna know the reason?
18
00:01:16,093 --> 00:01:17,795
It's her.
19
00:01:17,795 --> 00:01:20,764
Oh! She go to your new school?
20
00:01:20,764 --> 00:01:23,868
Yep. Vanessa. And she digs ball players.
21
00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:27,004
You're doing all this for a girl?
22
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:29,874
And I know you have problems
with the Cannon and baseball,
23
00:01:29,874 --> 00:01:32,309
- but things will be okay.
- Things are gonna be great.
24
00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:33,811
I got a couple of job interviews lined up,
25
00:01:33,811 --> 00:01:35,946
and we'll be out of his house in no time.
26
00:01:35,946 --> 00:01:38,249
Good, 'cause it smells like
a hot van full of monkey ass.
27
00:01:38,249 --> 00:01:39,884
Man over P.A.: If you're trying
out, please report to the field.
28
00:01:39,884 --> 00:01:42,586
Okay, buddy, that's you.
29
00:01:42,586 --> 00:01:45,022
Now you go out there and just have fun.
30
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,590
Come here, kiddo.
31
00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:48,626
Now listen to me.
32
00:01:48,626 --> 00:01:51,529
When you get your shot at the
bench, fire it as hard as you can,
33
00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:53,831
and hit that first kid
right square in the face.
34
00:01:53,831 --> 00:01:56,667
You got it? You'll scare
the crap out of all of 'em.
35
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:59,703
No, no. No, let's not
hit any kids in the face.
36
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,106
- Okay, go have fun, bud. Go.
- Yo.
37
00:02:03,974 --> 00:02:05,843
Don't do that.
38
00:02:05,843 --> 00:02:07,745
Why not?
39
00:02:07,745 --> 00:02:09,880
Remember when you hit that
kid in the side of the head?
40
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,949
They had to put one of them
giant Frankenstein shoes on him
41
00:02:11,949 --> 00:02:14,318
- so he could get his balance back.
- I was nine.
42
00:02:14,318 --> 00:02:17,821
I threw that pitch because you
promised me ice cream and a pony.
43
00:02:17,821 --> 00:02:20,291
How big a sucker could you be? How big?
44
00:02:20,291 --> 00:02:22,693
Where hell was I gonna get a pony?
45
00:02:22,693 --> 00:02:24,695
I do remember that you threw
six perfect games that year,
46
00:02:24,695 --> 00:02:26,864
and we went to the championships.
47
00:02:26,864 --> 00:02:29,800
Yep, and I remember you peeing on
home plate in protest after we lost.
48
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:32,062
The guy was out by ten feet.
49
00:02:32,062 --> 00:02:34,732
- And that's the way I protest.
- Exactly.
50
00:02:34,732 --> 00:02:36,967
Sane people argue that call.
51
00:02:36,967 --> 00:02:39,837
They don't pull out their
junk in front of little kids.
52
00:02:39,837 --> 00:02:42,940
- He was out.
- Ugh!
53
00:02:42,940 --> 00:02:45,176
What don't you get?
54
00:02:47,711 --> 00:02:49,680
- Hi.
- Hello.
55
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,148
How are you?
56
00:02:56,487 --> 00:02:59,023
Come on, buddy, you can
do this. You can do this.
57
00:03:02,493 --> 00:03:04,695
Kid stinks. You stink!
58
00:03:04,695 --> 00:03:06,797
Throw it overhand, throw it overhand.
59
00:03:10,534 --> 00:03:12,670
He's gonna be fine.
60
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,872
Here.
61
00:03:14,872 --> 00:03:17,007
Go ahead, it's just Tequila.
62
00:03:21,745 --> 00:03:23,948
Usually I'm a scotch girl.
63
00:03:23,948 --> 00:03:25,783
Oh, scotch. I've got scotch. Rocks?
64
00:03:25,783 --> 00:03:28,185
- No, thank you.
- Okay.
65
00:03:28,185 --> 00:03:31,722
- Hello there. I'm Lulu.
- Hi. I'm Terry.
66
00:03:31,722 --> 00:03:33,557
My boy and I just moved here from Michigan.
67
00:03:33,557 --> 00:03:35,125
Oh, I love Canada!
68
00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:38,495
- It's not in...
- I love it.
69
00:03:38,495 --> 00:03:42,233
- So which one's yours?
- Oh, um, him over there.
70
00:03:42,233 --> 00:03:44,969
- That's Michael.
- Is he dancing?
71
00:03:44,969 --> 00:03:47,571
- Yes, he's so gay.
- Ball.
72
00:03:47,571 --> 00:03:49,640
- Just like his father.
- Your husband's gay?
73
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,843
Dead. Died. Behind me.
74
00:03:54,545 --> 00:03:57,214
Yeah, produced movies, left
me millions, silver lining.
75
00:03:59,183 --> 00:04:01,518
So anyway, tell me about you.
76
00:04:01,518 --> 00:04:05,155
Oh, well, let's see. Messy
divorce. Lost everything.
77
00:04:05,155 --> 00:04:08,092
Living with my father who
crippled me emotionally.
78
00:04:08,092 --> 00:04:10,027
Silver lining.
79
00:04:10,027 --> 00:04:12,096
You're funny. Okay, look.
80
00:04:12,096 --> 00:04:13,731
Here's the D.L.
81
00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,532
So they are the smarmy army.
82
00:04:15,532 --> 00:04:18,002
The one in blue is Dick Slingbaugh.
83
00:04:18,002 --> 00:04:20,237
League president, recently divorced.
84
00:04:20,287 --> 00:04:23,324
Rumor has it he's carrying
quite the bat down there.
85
00:04:23,324 --> 00:04:27,594
Old hickory, I call... they... call it.
86
00:04:27,594 --> 00:04:29,763
- Like the bat.
- Yeah.
87
00:04:29,763 --> 00:04:31,865
Oh, darling, look, your boy, he's up.
88
00:04:31,865 --> 00:04:34,268
Oh, come on, catch it!
89
00:04:34,268 --> 00:04:37,037
Wow, that kid screams single mom.
90
00:04:37,037 --> 00:04:39,306
Wish I was 12 so I could punch that kid.
91
00:04:39,306 --> 00:04:42,142
Come on, guys, we're here
to build these kids up,
92
00:04:42,142 --> 00:04:44,845
- not tear 'em down.
- Shut up, Stan. Don't make me use my belt.
93
00:04:44,845 --> 00:04:46,947
What kind of a parent lets
their kid come out here
94
00:04:46,947 --> 00:04:48,982
and embarrass himself like that?
95
00:04:48,982 --> 00:04:52,586
The only thing that kid's
gonna catch is a beating.
96
00:04:55,723 --> 00:04:58,726
Who threw that? Was that you, freckles?
97
00:05:02,629 --> 00:05:04,732
You have issues.
98
00:05:04,732 --> 00:05:07,000
- We're gonna be great friends.
- Mm-hmm.
99
00:05:11,038 --> 00:05:12,873
(Belching)
100
00:05:12,873 --> 00:05:15,776
Hey, um, empty.
101
00:05:17,945 --> 00:05:20,080
What am I doing?
102
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,549
I am not your ten-year-old
waitress anymore.
103
00:05:22,549 --> 00:05:24,118
Get it yourself.
104
00:05:24,118 --> 00:05:25,986
Would you close your
eyes for a minute, please?
105
00:05:25,986 --> 00:05:28,589
No. Last time I closed
my eyes, you farted on me.
106
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,557
I am sitting down. Come on,
honey, just for a sec, please.
107
00:05:30,557 --> 00:05:34,161
- Absolutely not.
- Close your eyes for a sec. Please.
108
00:05:34,161 --> 00:05:36,530
- Okay, now what do you see?
- Nothing.
109
00:05:36,530 --> 00:05:37,931
And that's exactly what you pay here.
110
00:05:37,931 --> 00:05:39,833
So if you and the kid want
to continue living here,
111
00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:41,802
you'll start bein' a little nicer to me.
112
00:05:41,802 --> 00:05:43,871
What is that noise?
113
00:05:43,871 --> 00:05:47,241
A raccoon got caught in
the wall a couple weeks ago.
114
00:05:47,241 --> 00:05:50,110
- Probably not dead yet.
- Okay. Where's Danny?
115
00:05:50,110 --> 00:05:52,546
Who?
116
00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:55,816
Hey, buddy, what you doing?
117
00:05:55,816 --> 00:05:58,085
Well, the Cannon said that I
have to throw 1,000 of these,
118
00:05:58,085 --> 00:06:01,021
- or we can't live here.
- 1,000 throws?
119
00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:04,057
I know you think you're trying
to help, but please don't.
120
00:06:04,057 --> 00:06:05,926
First of all, get that
toilet thing outta my face.
121
00:06:05,926 --> 00:06:08,862
Second of all, did you see that kid throw?
122
00:06:08,862 --> 00:06:10,597
He's got an arm like a duck.
123
00:06:10,597 --> 00:06:13,600
- Ducks don't have arms.
- Precisely my point.
124
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,603
Look, I can teach that kid some things.
125
00:06:16,603 --> 00:06:18,539
Oh, no, no teaching.
126
00:06:18,539 --> 00:06:21,074
No screwing him up like you did me.
127
00:06:21,074 --> 00:06:22,609
- I screwed you up?
- Yeah.
128
00:06:22,609 --> 00:06:24,912
How about when I got my first period?
129
00:06:24,912 --> 00:06:27,648
- You told me to walk it off.
- There was no Internet then.
130
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,750
And then, after college, do you
remember what you said to me then?
131
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:31,051
Take the dog or he'll die.
132
00:06:31,051 --> 00:06:32,986
After that.
133
00:06:33,687 --> 00:06:36,765
You promised me you would see
every game I ever played in.
134
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:40,328
I would look up in the
stands, I never saw you once.
135
00:06:41,078 --> 00:06:44,115
Danny is never going to feel that, okay?
136
00:06:44,115 --> 00:06:47,718
The Gannon curse of being
a minor leaguer in life
137
00:06:47,718 --> 00:06:49,720
will stop with him, I'll make sure of it.
138
00:06:49,655 --> 00:06:51,657
That is fine.
139
00:06:51,657 --> 00:06:54,393
Tell you what, go get Donny,
and I'll apologize to him.
140
00:06:54,393 --> 00:06:56,295
- It's Danny.
- Whatever.
141
00:06:56,295 --> 00:06:58,297
Go get the guy, go get him,
142
00:06:58,297 --> 00:07:00,266
and I will apologize.
143
00:07:03,369 --> 00:07:05,238
Hey. Hey!
144
00:07:05,238 --> 00:07:07,139
You get back here.
145
00:07:07,139 --> 00:07:09,275
Twenty bucks if you can nail him.
146
00:07:10,543 --> 00:07:12,678
I told you he sucks.
147
00:07:23,354 --> 00:07:25,256
Hey.
148
00:07:25,256 --> 00:07:27,625
- You dropped this.
- Thanks.
149
00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:31,129
- I'm Danny Gannon.
- You were at the baseball field the other day.
150
00:07:31,129 --> 00:07:33,049
Yeah, I'm gonna be playing this year.
151
00:07:33,049 --> 00:07:35,652
- Cool.
- You have ridiculously brown eyes.
152
00:07:38,421 --> 00:07:41,558
She's mine. You don't ever
talk to her, you got it?
153
00:07:41,558 --> 00:07:42,759
David, he's new. Leave him alone.
154
00:07:42,759 --> 00:07:45,295
Did you know that bullying, at our age,
155
00:07:45,295 --> 00:07:47,664
is linked to compensating
for a small penis?
156
00:07:47,664 --> 00:07:51,501
Listen, freak, I see you around
here again, I'm gonna beat your ass.
157
00:07:51,501 --> 00:07:53,903
And you know what? There's not a thing...
158
00:07:59,843 --> 00:08:03,847
You stay away from her, and me.
159
00:08:03,847 --> 00:08:07,050
- Weirdo.
- Why did you do that?
160
00:08:07,050 --> 00:08:09,019
That kid's scared of me now.
161
00:08:09,019 --> 00:08:11,888
He doesn't know why, but he is.
162
00:08:11,888 --> 00:08:14,724
You're weird. I like that.
163
00:08:14,724 --> 00:08:17,427
- See ya.
- Bye.
164
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,491
Raccoon, lunch.
165
00:08:31,741 --> 00:08:34,744
Oh, oh. Come here a second.
166
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:39,349
What the heck happened to you?
167
00:08:39,349 --> 00:08:41,017
I kissed a boy.
168
00:08:41,017 --> 00:08:44,387
Here we go. You're not a
piccolo player, are you?
169
00:08:44,387 --> 00:08:46,456
Cannon, I'm not gay.
170
00:08:46,456 --> 00:08:48,525
A kid was picking on me,
so I thought kissing him
171
00:08:48,525 --> 00:08:49,959
would freak him out and
throw him off his game.
172
00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:52,629
Yeah, I get it.
173
00:08:52,629 --> 00:08:54,597
- Both: You do?
- Absolutely.
174
00:08:54,597 --> 00:08:57,500
I once batted against Vida
Blue with my johnson out.
175
00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:59,536
He walked me on four straight pitches.
176
00:08:59,536 --> 00:09:01,738
- My kid punched me.
- Okay.
177
00:09:01,738 --> 00:09:03,340
You get a pipe or a brick.
178
00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:05,375
When the kid comes around the corner,
179
00:09:05,375 --> 00:09:07,344
- you come out, and you crack him.
- No, no.
180
00:09:07,344 --> 00:09:10,347
No bricks, no pipes. Hello.
181
00:09:10,347 --> 00:09:12,549
A bag of nickels.
182
00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:16,019
Let me see that.
183
00:09:16,019 --> 00:09:18,655
It's gonna be okay. It's nothin'.
184
00:09:18,655 --> 00:09:20,341
Go and get three cans of beer.
185
00:09:20,341 --> 00:09:22,710
Put one of them cold ones
right on your eye, all right?
186
00:09:22,710 --> 00:09:25,913
- What do I do with the other two?
- Hands.
187
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:27,948
No beer. Ice.
188
00:09:30,184 --> 00:09:31,819
What's with the face?
189
00:09:31,819 --> 00:09:34,822
Problem with the she-gina, somethin'...
190
00:09:34,822 --> 00:09:36,924
That was someone from the league.
191
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:38,659
You didn't make the team.
192
00:09:38,659 --> 00:09:41,862
- I'm really sorry, buddy.
- Well, that sucks.
193
00:09:41,862 --> 00:09:43,597
Now how am I gonna impress Vanessa?
194
00:09:43,597 --> 00:09:46,133
Maybe you stop kissin' boys.
195
00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:47,935
Vanessa's just gonna
have to learn to love you
196
00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:50,004
for your brilliant mind
and your boyish good looks.
197
00:09:50,004 --> 00:09:52,973
Well, I'm screwed.
198
00:09:52,973 --> 00:09:55,710
God, I feel so bad for him.
199
00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:57,391
- You're full of crap.
- What?!
200
00:09:57,393 --> 00:09:58,121
You're relieved.
201
00:09:58,122 --> 00:10:00,182
Now you don't have any
reason to go to that field,
202
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:01,505
or be around that miserable game,
203
00:10:01,506 --> 00:10:03,087
but that kid wants to be out there,
204
00:10:03,091 --> 00:10:04,971
and you should fix it for him, okay?
205
00:10:04,999 --> 00:10:07,835
Well, right now, I have a job interview,
206
00:10:07,835 --> 00:10:09,170
so baseball will have to wait.
207
00:10:09,170 --> 00:10:11,939
No problem. I will fix it.
208
00:10:11,939 --> 00:10:14,942
I'm gonna go down to that
meeting they got tonight.
209
00:10:14,942 --> 00:10:17,178
It's one of them, what do you call it?
210
00:10:17,108 --> 00:10:19,276
A league orientation meeting,
211
00:10:19,276 --> 00:10:20,878
which I will attend, and
I will speak for Donny.
212
00:10:20,878 --> 00:10:23,748
No, no. You're not gonna go down there.
213
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,149
I will fix this.
214
00:10:25,149 --> 00:10:28,018
And it's Danny.
215
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,987
I really wish we could've taken every kid,
216
00:10:29,987 --> 00:10:32,356
but we just don't have the
equipment, the uniforms,
217
00:10:32,356 --> 00:10:36,193
or a coach, so better luck next year.
218
00:10:36,193 --> 00:10:39,130
- Go now. Go now. Now, now.
- Excuse me.
219
00:10:39,130 --> 00:10:43,067
Who makes the final decision
about which kids make the league?
220
00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:46,237
Uh, right here. This guy.
221
00:10:46,237 --> 00:10:48,105
(Men laughing)
222
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:50,775
Well, I only ask because, in googling you,
223
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,810
I found out that you didn't even play
224
00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:55,379
- high school baseball.
- (Murmuring)
225
00:10:55,379 --> 00:10:58,249
Yeah, I, uh, pulled my groin
my junior year, then my...
226
00:10:58,249 --> 00:11:00,684
Look, I don't have to do this. Look, lady,
227
00:11:00,684 --> 00:11:03,788
I apologize if your kid
wasn't good enough to make it
228
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,289
ok? But this isn't soccer.
229
00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,224
We don't give every kid a trophy here.
230
00:11:07,224 --> 00:11:09,160
Besides, we don't have
the equipment or a coach.
231
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:11,829
So this little whatever this is, is over.
232
00:11:11,829 --> 00:11:13,998
Uh, no, I'll pay for all the equipment.
233
00:11:13,998 --> 00:11:16,100
Yeah, I'll pay for everything.
234
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:19,170
Mats, tights, sticks,
everything. The whole shebang.
235
00:11:19,170 --> 00:11:22,239
Well, thank you for that, crazy spice.
236
00:11:22,239 --> 00:11:24,074
But we still don't have a coach,
237
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:25,342
so is there anything else?
238
00:11:26,610 --> 00:11:28,946
I didn't think so.
239
00:11:31,749 --> 00:11:34,351
You know what?
240
00:11:34,351 --> 00:11:36,954
I'll coach.
241
00:11:36,954 --> 00:11:39,757
Wow, that's a cute idea.
242
00:11:39,757 --> 00:11:44,061
But these kids need a man who
understands them and the game.
243
00:11:44,061 --> 00:11:47,798
Well, unlike you, Dick,
I played in high school.
244
00:11:47,798 --> 00:11:50,000
And then, I was an All-American
softball player in college,
245
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:53,370
so how about this? You and
me, on the field tomorrow.
246
00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:55,339
I throw you one pitch.
247
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:58,342
You hit it, you will never
see me or my kid again.
248
00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:01,812
But you miss it, I get to coach my kid,
249
00:12:01,812 --> 00:12:03,981
and all the other kids who
didn't make your league.
250
00:12:03,981 --> 00:12:06,150
(Derisive laughter)
251
00:12:06,150 --> 00:12:09,253
Oi, oi, there's a bet on the table here.
252
00:12:09,253 --> 00:12:11,222
So I think there's only one question left,
253
00:12:11,222 --> 00:12:14,024
and that is, are you
man enough to take it...
254
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:15,926
Dick?
255
00:12:15,926 --> 00:12:19,330
Oh, lady, I'm man enough
to take both of you on.
256
00:12:19,330 --> 00:12:21,966
With 15 minutes in between.
257
00:12:21,966 --> 00:12:23,801
Maybe 20.
258
00:12:23,801 --> 00:12:26,871
But hey, maybe 25.
259
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,175
You got yourselves a bet.
260
00:12:37,681 --> 00:12:39,783
Is that the kid that hit you?
261
00:12:39,783 --> 00:12:42,119
- Yeah.
- Here's what I want you to do.
262
00:12:42,119 --> 00:12:44,855
You take your lit cigarette, you
flick it over your shoulder, see,
263
00:12:44,855 --> 00:12:47,024
just like that. You take this bat,
264
00:12:47,024 --> 00:12:49,260
and you bash his knees in.
265
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:52,595
No. I'm not hitting a
kid, and I do not smoke.
266
00:12:52,596 --> 00:12:54,070
What is wrong with you?
267
00:12:57,134 --> 00:12:58,168
ungawa
268
00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:01,071
ungawa
269
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:03,240
ungawa
270
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,642
your mama
271
00:13:04,642 --> 00:13:06,277
whoa
272
00:13:39,184 --> 00:13:41,186
- Come on, dad.
- Shut up.
273
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:54,234
- That's my boy!
- He didn't hit it. We are a team!
274
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:55,835
Didn't hit it.
275
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,874
- I'm fine.
- See ya on the field, Dick.
276
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:01,762
Good job, Terry!
277
00:14:04,904 --> 00:14:06,906
Hey, I'm sorry to bug you at home,
278
00:14:06,906 --> 00:14:07,988
but I know you guys have practice tomorrow.
279
00:14:07,988 --> 00:14:09,956
I wanted to get you your uniforms.
280
00:14:09,956 --> 00:14:13,460
- You guys are gonna be the Angels.
- Great. How's the eye?
281
00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:16,496
Oh, it doesn't hurt.
I haven't even iced it.
282
00:14:16,496 --> 00:14:19,599
I'm sorry I threw at you, but
you were acting like a jackass.
283
00:14:19,599 --> 00:14:21,435
No, hey, I get it.
284
00:14:21,435 --> 00:14:23,704
It's just like the little
girls in the schoolyard
285
00:14:23,704 --> 00:14:25,572
when they punch you in the arm
because they think you're hot.
286
00:14:25,572 --> 00:14:28,608
- It's nothing like that.
- You know, I like your look.
287
00:14:28,608 --> 00:14:30,711
A lot of girls have beauty,
288
00:14:30,711 --> 00:14:34,081
but you're not concerned
about that. You have character.
289
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,582
- Character?
- Yeah.
290
00:14:35,582 --> 00:14:37,584
It's like your clothes.
291
00:14:37,584 --> 00:14:39,486
You don't care what anybody thinks.
292
00:14:39,486 --> 00:14:42,189
And your hair. It's like you
were angry when you cut it.
293
00:14:43,423 --> 00:14:45,559
This your house?
294
00:14:45,559 --> 00:14:48,729
Maybe you should invite me
in sometime for some bugs.
295
00:14:50,330 --> 00:14:51,598
- You see my car?
- I did.
296
00:14:51,598 --> 00:14:53,667
Bet it's a real hooker magnet.
297
00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:58,171
Well, look, I just wanted to,
uh, wish you guys good luck,
298
00:14:58,171 --> 00:15:00,307
and the sling says good night.
299
00:15:09,683 --> 00:15:11,418
"The Angles"?
300
00:15:12,719 --> 00:15:14,287
What a douche.
301
00:15:14,495 --> 00:15:16,497
I'm the one they call Dung.
302
00:15:17,665 --> 00:15:19,901
We come from the same egg.
303
00:15:19,901 --> 00:15:22,270
Fire is the only thing that loves me.
304
00:15:22,270 --> 00:15:25,540
- (Speaking Spanish)
- I suck.
305
00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:29,377
I'm on the right track,
baby, I was born this way
306
00:15:29,377 --> 00:15:31,879
Are you a lesbian? You look like a lesbian.
307
00:15:31,879 --> 00:15:33,314
I killed a wolf.
308
00:15:33,614 --> 00:15:35,816
Okay, uh, couple of things
309
00:15:35,816 --> 00:15:37,518
I want us to focus on.
310
00:15:37,518 --> 00:15:40,588
Number one, gotta wear your shoes.
311
00:15:40,588 --> 00:15:44,091
- All the time.
- Even in the bathroom?
312
00:15:44,091 --> 00:15:46,894
Two, and I can't believe I
even have to address this,
313
00:15:46,894 --> 00:15:49,530
the cups you wear are not for drinking.
314
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:51,933
Then they should call them something else.
315
00:15:51,933 --> 00:15:54,669
What is wrong with you guys?
316
00:15:54,669 --> 00:15:56,070
These jerseys suck.
317
00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:57,972
What the hell's an angle anyway?
318
00:15:57,972 --> 00:16:01,175
I will tell you what the Angles are.
319
00:16:01,175 --> 00:16:03,177
They're misfits.
320
00:16:03,177 --> 00:16:06,080
They don't always fit in.
321
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,649
Just like all of us.
322
00:16:08,649 --> 00:16:10,751
Cannon: What a bunch of crap.
323
00:16:10,751 --> 00:16:13,020
Hey, it's Santa.
324
00:16:13,020 --> 00:16:16,490
Get the hell out of there.
325
00:16:16,490 --> 00:16:18,492
What is this garbage
you're feedin' these kids?
326
00:16:18,492 --> 00:16:20,161
"Oh, just try your best."
327
00:16:20,161 --> 00:16:23,197
Look, tell them that
baseball is not just a game.
328
00:16:23,197 --> 00:16:25,967
That it's life lessons.
329
00:16:25,967 --> 00:16:27,601
Teach them what I taught you.
330
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,704
I am not doing this here.
331
00:16:29,704 --> 00:16:33,040
Okay, so, baseball...
332
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,009
is...
333
00:16:35,009 --> 00:16:36,644
Baseball is what?
334
00:16:36,644 --> 00:16:38,579
Baseball is...
335
00:16:38,579 --> 00:16:39,947
What is it? Come on.
336
00:16:39,947 --> 00:16:43,617
It's okay, mom. Let it out.
337
00:16:43,617 --> 00:16:45,753
I just let it out.
338
00:16:47,955 --> 00:16:49,857
You wanna know what baseball really is?
339
00:16:51,192 --> 00:16:54,528
Baseball is a little blonde girl
340
00:16:54,528 --> 00:16:56,097
who loses her mother,
341
00:16:56,097 --> 00:16:57,798
and has to go to Mexico with her father
342
00:16:57,798 --> 00:16:59,800
to watch him coach, and then disappears,
343
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,569
so that she has to live
with the parrot mascot,
344
00:17:01,569 --> 00:17:03,204
never knowing if he
was coming back for her.
345
00:17:03,204 --> 00:17:06,874
- I told you, I was in jail.
- And baseball
346
00:17:06,874 --> 00:17:08,642
is never going to the prom,
347
00:17:08,642 --> 00:17:10,978
because the boy you like
mysteriously gets hit by a car
348
00:17:10,978 --> 00:17:12,780
on the way to pick you up.
349
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,449
And baseball is marrying the man who cheats
350
00:17:15,449 --> 00:17:17,685
with a dental hygienist
and blames it on you,
351
00:17:17,685 --> 00:17:19,920
- because you wouldn't get a boob job.
- I like your boobs.
352
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,188
Thank you, Owen.
353
00:17:21,188 --> 00:17:23,891
Well, if I did such a bad, bad job,
354
00:17:23,891 --> 00:17:26,727
why did you come home?
355
00:17:26,727 --> 00:17:29,563
And if baseball did all
that horrible stuff to you,
356
00:17:29,563 --> 00:17:31,732
what the hell are you doin'
coaching? What's that about?
357
00:17:31,732 --> 00:17:35,703
I am home because I didn't have a choice,
358
00:17:35,703 --> 00:17:38,706
and I wanted something better for Danny.
359
00:17:38,706 --> 00:17:41,709
I am coaching because
nobody wanted these kids.
360
00:17:43,544 --> 00:17:45,546
And I know how that feels.
361
00:17:47,014 --> 00:17:51,185
People... people are gonna call you
362
00:17:51,185 --> 00:17:53,954
weird and creepy,
363
00:17:53,954 --> 00:17:59,226
and foreign and gay... feminine, and...
364
00:17:59,226 --> 00:18:00,861
Hey, don't forget fat.
365
00:18:00,861 --> 00:18:03,531
That kid layin' there, that kid is fat.
366
00:18:03,531 --> 00:18:04,698
Really?
367
00:18:04,698 --> 00:18:06,801
So wouldn't it be great
368
00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:09,470
if just one time,
369
00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:11,906
you could take all of the insults,
370
00:18:11,906 --> 00:18:14,675
and all of the bullying,
371
00:18:14,675 --> 00:18:17,078
and you could just shove
it right up their butts?
372
00:18:17,078 --> 00:18:19,713
Uh, I do. I wanna shove it up their butts.
373
00:18:19,713 --> 00:18:21,649
(All agreeing)
374
00:18:21,649 --> 00:18:24,552
Well, the good news is, I
can teach you how to do that,
375
00:18:24,552 --> 00:18:27,154
right here on this field.
376
00:18:27,154 --> 00:18:30,524
Now... Angles, are you with me?
377
00:18:30,524 --> 00:18:33,194
- (Cheering)
- Take the field.
378
00:18:33,194 --> 00:18:35,529
Okay, Angles, let's get one.
379
00:18:49,243 --> 00:18:52,146
Buddy? Hey, buddy, is your weiner okay?
380
00:18:52,146 --> 00:18:53,881
Buddy.
381
00:18:53,881 --> 00:18:56,016
You will lose every game.
382
00:19:00,654 --> 00:19:02,823
- Mom?
- Back here, bud.
383
00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:06,530
Uh, the Cannon wants to know
when dinner will be ready.
384
00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:09,200
Hm. Tell him as soon as
I get my childhood back.
385
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,835
- Okay.
- No.
386
00:19:11,835 --> 00:19:14,538
Stay out here and help me
look for my college mitt.
387
00:19:20,844 --> 00:19:22,780
Mom, what are all these?
388
00:19:25,182 --> 00:19:26,917
Oh, these are videos...
389
00:19:35,149 --> 00:19:37,451
of all of my college games.
390
00:19:40,254 --> 00:19:42,690
Um, hey, bud, why don't you go inside?
391
00:19:42,690 --> 00:19:45,159
- I'll be right in, okay?
- All right.
392
00:19:54,535 --> 00:19:56,804
That son of a bitch.
393
00:20:11,024 --> 00:20:13,190
I could use some help with practice,
394
00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:15,192
if you're up for it.
395
00:20:19,357 --> 00:20:22,093
Yeah, okay. I could be manager.
396
00:20:22,093 --> 00:20:23,440
No.
397
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,476
No, you'll help.
398
00:20:27,211 --> 00:20:28,645
So...
399
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:31,148
Tuesdays at 4:00.
400
00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:32,716
Good night, dad.
401
00:20:32,716 --> 00:20:35,252
Good night, Terry.
402
00:20:56,274 --> 00:20:58,376
Hey! Stop!
403
00:20:58,376 --> 00:20:59,911
What the hell are you doing?
404
00:20:59,911 --> 00:21:02,246
Let me tell you something, you geek.
405
00:21:02,246 --> 00:21:05,149
Your kid touches my grandson one more time,
406
00:21:05,149 --> 00:21:07,318
I'm not comin' back for him.
407
00:21:07,318 --> 00:21:09,186
I'm comin' back to beat you
like a drum, you got that?
408
00:21:09,186 --> 00:21:10,521
I don't have a kid.
409
00:21:17,094 --> 00:21:19,297
Is this 4266 Somerset?
410
00:21:19,297 --> 00:21:21,232
It's 4622.
411
00:21:28,172 --> 00:21:29,907
Never mind.
412
00:21:50,149 --> 00:21:52,566
I'm Terry, and I'm living with my
father who crippled me emotionally.
413
00:21:52,566 --> 00:21:53,822
Hi. Hello.
414
00:21:53,823 --> 00:21:54,823
Not you.
415
00:21:54,857 --> 00:21:55,983
Terry and her dad...
416
00:21:55,983 --> 00:21:57,066
You stink!
417
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,566
... are always striking out.
418
00:21:58,566 --> 00:22:00,482
40 bucks if you can nail him.
419
00:22:00,482 --> 00:22:01,399
I told you he sucks.
420
00:22:01,399 --> 00:22:02,691
But this season...
421
00:22:02,691 --> 00:22:05,566
I could use some help with practice.
422
00:22:05,566 --> 00:22:06,315
No problem.
423
00:22:06,315 --> 00:22:09,149
... they'll get a little coaching.
424
00:22:09,149 --> 00:22:11,149
You couldn't manage a liquor store.
425
00:22:11,149 --> 00:22:14,524
James Caan. Maggie
Lawson. Back in the Game.
426
00:22:14,524 --> 00:22:18,732
Series premiere Wednesday September
25 after the middle on ABC.
427
00:22:18,733 --> 00:22:22,442
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
428
00:22:22,492 --> 00:22:27,042
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0